The Work, Life, Balance Myth……Go with the Flow instead!

The modern Woman spends 13 hours a day on average working their J.O.B. and then working when she gets home! Women continue to juggle their demanding careers, family activities, home upkeep, other outside commitments and struggle to find balance! Sound familiar – I struggled with this too! 

When I was a young working Mom, I wanted it all – a great career and a family! I traveled around the U.S. every week for my job, and I kept all the balls in the air for my family at home, while in another city! I thought having it all –meant I had to do it all!  So, naturally my life was out of balance!

 

What I didn’t know then, that I do now – is that we have choices!

 

And there is Power in Choice!

 

I was able to shift my mindset from a “having it all – do it all” mentality to really focusing on what I wanted for my life with my partner and family. Determining what was important that resonated with my desires, values and needs and that was also sustainable – lead to creating a new vision and set of priorities for me, my partner and family. The constant striving for the elusive balance gave way to flow instead!

So, I would like to encourage you to shift your mindset from this idea, of having it all to instead clearly knowing what kind of life and lifestyle you, your partner and family want, that reflects your values, goals and priorities!  

 

And once your reach agreements about your goals and priorities; they become your filter for saying YES to what you desire and NO for non-essentials, with this practice in place, only then can you experience a sense of Flow in your life. 

 

 I like to equate balance to a seesaw; it fluctuates by going up and down, it’s very difficult to keep it in the center. Instead I like to reframe the concept of balance as being in flow!  For example, even if our priorities are set and we are supremely organized, life is not static, it is in constant movement and flow!  So, it's natural that we will experience fluctuation based on our choices, work schedules, holidays and seasons, children’s ages / activities, caring for aging parents…etc.

Life is more akin to a brook, flowing in a forward motion. And when you have that flow in your life you will experience a sense of  harmony within yourself and life!

 

Here are my 8 Tips for creating and staying in flow!

 

Tip 1  Stay on Course by shifting your focus to really aligning your daily life and priorities around how you would love for your life to be.

  • Create your goals and priorities
  • Use them as your filter for saying YES to what is important/desire and NO to nonessentials/off course
  • This eliminates stress and over-scheduling!
  • More room for meaningful choices
  • creates feelings of harmony because you are now in alignment with yourself and priorities and desires!

 

Tip 2  Map it!  Create a Mind Map for home & work priorities! A great visual tool that captures all your ideas in one place. It’s fun, everyone can participate and you can use it show goals, intentions, vacations, hobbies, family activities, areas you want to grow into! I love Mind Maps – I use them for everything! They are an excellent visual tool that captures all your ideas in one place. They are also a powerful manifestation tool for your goals and dreams, while keeping you on track throughout the year. They are easy and fun to make – the whole family can participate and you can do them in an electronic template or old school style by making them with drawing paper and magic markers! Then post it where everyone can see it.

 

Tip 3 Do the  50/50 Exercise with your partner to reduce your workload! Here is how it works; you each make a list of all the tasks you do related to children, parenting and chores in the home.  Then compare each of your lists. The goal is to make it more equitable for both parents based on time resources, skills, & logistics, ultimately creating more harmony in your marriage and flow. Watch my video on Work, Life Balance - Is this just a Myth? 

 

TIP 4  Scheduling

  • One Calendar for Home & Work
  • Use Gmail or Outlook
  • Sync with Smartphone
  • Set alerts
  • Share with Partner
  • Set monthly, review weekly

 

TIP 5  Done is better than Perfect!

  •  Let go of the need to be PERFECT.
  •  Being obsessive about perfectionism leads to burnout and is an unmanageable expectation of self and life.
  • Your house is fine as is!
  • Focus instead on working towards your best self.
  • Being your best self is a healthier mindset!
  • You are good enough the way you are!

TIP 6 Know your Super Powers!  

Own your strengths, advocate and use them when necessary; for example if you are an uber planner or are excellent with numbers, use them to your advantage and be the money manager in the family. If your partner is the better cook then; he/she would serve the family better with meal preparation. Be clear about your weak tendencies too; For example if you are a natural caregiver do not over- commit to doing things for others at the detriment to your own well-being. Learn to set some boundaries for yourself and others.      

 

 TIP 7   Managing Overwhelm

Overwhelm can signal that you are out of alignment with yourself and your priorities.  You may need to correct your course by:

  • Releasing a non-essential
  • Call in support – Remember – it takes a Village!

  • Bring in one of your Superpowers

  • Set Boundaries with self and others in home and professional life

  •  Leave work at work! 

TIP 8   Create a daily Self-Care Practice

To fully sustain your well-being: - Nurture your whole self with a fully flushed our self-care practice! This would be another great use of a mind map and the Self-Care Flower Wheel I designed*! We need to focus on the 4 aspects of our self; Physical, Mental, Social/Emotional and Spiritual!

  • Create the specific care you need to do for yourself in each of the 4 categories.

For example; in the Physical area, maybe you can commit to walking every day at lunch for 30 minutes and then eat a healthy salad with a protein. In the mental area, maybe you read positive material every night before bed and start your day with meditation or prayer for the Spiritual area. 

Don’t forget to add FUN into all your areas! Women need to PLAY more!!

  • Your goal is to renew yourself in as many areas as you can daily, so you can feel centered, healthy, energized, rested and ready to live your life fully!
  •  Schedule them: Daily, weekly, Monthly 

 

Here are some actions you might consider taking:

  1. Using my Self-Care Flower Wheel*; Create Your own Self Care Map~ Mind Map Style and register for my Free 21 day Self-Care Challenge on my website, or email me at Melanie@liveinyourtruth.life put '21 day Self-Care Challenge' in the subject line. You will receive your very own – Self-Care Flower Wheel and Instructions to creating a self-care practice!
  2. Who can you call upon to support you and what will you ask them to do?
  3. What can you release from your life right now? (saying NO to what is not serving you…aka a non essential) 

 Remember, working is a part of our life along with our family; so to keep a harmonious flow stay aligned with the vision for your life and the priorities that support your vision. Map out those priorities and goals to stay on track! Say Yes to what brings you joy and NO to anything that is a non-essential or that takes you off your course!

 

                                        When you take CARE of YOU –  everyone benefits! 

Write a comment

Comments: 2
  • #1

    Warner Castillo (Friday, 03 February 2017 06:52)


    Having read this I believed it was very enlightening. I appreciate you finding the time and effort to put this content together. I once again find myself spending a lot of time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worthwhile!

  • #2

    Gilberto Neiss (Friday, 03 February 2017 16:53)


    Cool blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A design like yours with a few simple tweeks would really make my blog shine. Please let me know where you got your design. Bless you